Where I START...

This is where I START...

Everyone talks about having self love, but can we have specifics please?  I don’t have a definition to spout out for you.  I too am on my OWN journey of life, discovery and revelation, however; I can share what I have learned thus far through my own experiences. 

People often equate self love with pampering themselves, indulgence and spending oodles of money on their pleasures.  Visiting spas, hair done, nails done and clothing themselves in nothing but the best.  Wholeheartedly I can assure you not all who participate in these weekly rituals actually love themselves.  In fact, some people do these things because they have low self-esteem and to them this is a compensation for the lack thereof (whatever it may be for that person).  It gets to a point where these pleasure-seeking activities in reality become self-deprecating behaviors.

Am I saying that all people who are always suited and booted or dressed to the nines are over compensating for something, HECK NO!

Then in what way are these considered self-deprecating?  Well, first let’s define self-deprecating behavior.  For the purposes of this blog, it shall be defined as:

The act of belittling or undervaluing oneself.  Having the tendency to disparage oneself.  Depreciate.  To speak of or treat slightingly.

So now things really aren’t making sense right?  How does getting a mani/pedi, taking that trip to Miami, or getting that new luxury car equate to self-deprecation?  Well most of America, crossing genders and races, live WAY out of their means.  I can personally attest to this from my own life as well as having worked in the banking industry.  I’ve seen customers making well over 100,000 a year struggle to pay bills, constantly borrowing.  Going to the spa and spending frivolously is self deprecating when those things are NOT in your budget.  When bills come around that need to be paid we cause undue STRESS on ourselves by not having the funds available.  And surely as I write this I am also preaching to myself, but I’ve gotten to a point in my life where change is not just necessary, it is imperative!!!  Giving undue stress to yourself is indeed slighting and undervaluing yourself.

  Let’s take a look at all the things stress can lead to:

The effects of stress include the following:

• Stress can cause chronic fatigue, digestive upsets, headaches, and back pain.
• Stress can affect the blood cells that help you fight off infection, so you are more likely to get colds and other diseases.
• Constant stress can increase blood pressure and can increase the risk for stroke.
• Stress can increase the danger of heart attacks, particularly if you are often angry and mistrustful.
• Stress can make an asthma attack worse.
• Stress triggers behaviors that contribute to death and disability, such as smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, and overeating.
• Stress can lead to diminished sexual desire and an inability to achieve orgasm.
• Stress makes it harder to take other steps to improve health, such as giving up smoking or making changes in diet.

Now is that Self Love?  What person in their right mind would say:

I’m going to give myself constant migraines…but oh I love myself!

I can’t wait to give myself this heart attack because I just love myself that much!

This stroke is all about love!

It is the exact opposite of what it means to love.  What is love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Love is patient and kind.  Stop right there!  We live in a RIGHT NOW society.  We hear this all the time and I have fallen trap to this MANY-a-TIMES!  But in wanting to not only improve my life but catapult it to the next level, lets practice on this self love thing and make it a daily habit.

For Example:

I love myself enough to wait on purchasing this item because I am mindful of my health and happiness.  I value myself and my life.

I love myself enough to patiently wait on the right spouse to come into my life because I know that Mr. Right Now is an invitation for chaos.  I value myself too much to do that.

I love myself so much that I choose to passionately pursue my dreams and wait patiently for the increase instead of chasing after fast money.

I know what my vices are…do you know what yours are and how you can change them?  Please feel free to share as we are all working towards self improvement.

Kisses-P